Every breakup is sad, and to some people, it feels impossible to recover from. Do you remember when you had your first breakup? How did you deal with it then, and how was it different from your most recent one?
Unfortunately, all relationships have chances of failing. See, even marriages sometimes do not work out and end up in divorce. That is why some people build walls because they are scared of commitment and failed relationships. However, that is simply the catch when you find someone you like and fall in love with. You take the risk and try to make it last, but what if it does not? What if one day, your partner wakes you up saying they do not want you anymore.
Although the five stages of grief are quite standard, people deal with pain differently. People usually still try to change their partners’ minds, but others are brave enough to walk away. Doing so is not easy either. It does embody strength, but it most definitely hurts.
So were you the one who was dumped and left behind? It is okay to admit and acknowledge it. After all, that is the first key to getting out of the denial stage. Here are some things that might help with the following stages of grief:
Let Your Anger Flow
After getting out of the denial trance, you will slowly realize what actually happened. You spent so long being sad about your partner’s decision that you did not even remember all the times when your needs weren’t heard and met. The only emotion you will feel aside from despair when you finally realize that you were wronged is anger.
When people are mad and spiteful, they tend to do things they regret. All to let out some steam and settle scores. People who got dumped are not exempt from crimes of passion. It also goes for the other party. As part of being safe, it is best to change locks and reinforce your place with steel fence posts equipped with security solutions. It is always better to be safe. Truthfully, love and affairs are always motives considered by legal firms when investigating a case.
We are not implying that you are capable of such things, but we are trying to make a point that unmanaged anger is bad. So what do you do about it? You cry it out and yell it out. We do not just mean literally. In your own ways, you need to find an outlet to release the anger and hurt. Why do you think people get totally ripped and fit after a breakup? They channel all their anger and pain into the activity!
It Is Okay to Be Stuck; Just Don’t Go Back
During the bargaining stage, you will often find yourself considering going back and finding ways to make it work. Even after going through denial and anger, you will try to bargain for the relationship and the person back. In our given case, the both of you might even see each other eye to eye and agree to give it another chance. Bargaining is the most confusing stage of breakups; you might not even know that you are already going through it.
When this happens, you can either allow yourself to fall a little back or remain firm as ever. Why is this, you may ask? Because both approaches to bargaining yield the same results (though maybe on different timelines), they help a person validate the pain. There would be no bargaining if the relationship was not serious in the first place. You will not even struggle if what you have felt was nothing but a game. So just allow yourself to wade through the bargaining stage.
Expect the Worst
The last stage is depression. When dealing with breakups, there will be days that there is nothing but sadness. For example, you bargained for another chance to make it work, but it did not. Now, you are facing a slow attempt to acknowledge that things are finally over.
What do you do? You simply have to go through it again. You have already come so far; you cannot give up now. However, this stage can also be the longest one next to anger. So take all the time you need to wake up happy again. Meanwhile, try not to bounce your way around different beds to make the big sad go away, too. You are not coping or healing, you are distracted, and you might even pass on some trauma to other innocent people. Think about it.
Final Thoughts
Breakup grief is one of the awful feelings ever, but finding the right person is worth the risk. The same thing goes for you. After you move on, don’t be scared to try again. You’ll get there someday, but until then, just keep trying.
